The Future of Star Wars

First off, congratulations are in order to J. J. Abrams for nabbing the biggest gig in the history of ever - director of Star Wars - Episode VII.

Now for my personal plea to J. J. Abrams, who likely will never read this blog post:

Dear Mr. Abrams,

Please make the movie PG. I've got kids that I want to be able to take to the show on opening night, without having to screen it by myself first. As a grown man, part of me would love the movie to have the action sequences of a PG-13 film. However, the PG-rated fights of the past films have been pretty fantastic. Additionally, it seems that there is a tendency in Hollywood to throw an F-bomb into PG-13 films, since the regulations allow one instance of that particular cuss word. Hollywood seems to think that, just because it can do something, it should. This is just stupid. Please, don't be stupid.

Star Wars is, at its core, a children's story. It doesn't need a bunch of profanity to make it cool. As a wise person once said, "profanity is the effort of a feeble mind to express itself forcefully." Just make an awesome story and the crowds will come - especially without the insertion of a random F-bomb. In fact, you don't even need to make a good story. I would happily watch 2 hours of lightsaber fights choreographed to a John Williams musical score.

So, J. J. Abrams, enjoy the new gig. Good luck to you and remember to make a film for your inner child.

Sincerely,

B. P. Draper

Free Book New Year

Some authors offer a "Free Book Friday," or some ridiculously cheap thing like that. I'm not like that, so I'm going to offer a "Free Book New Year."

Starting now, Bubby I - Wanted: A Hero like None Other will be listed as FREE, for the entire year of 2013.

I began this free listing through Smashwords. So far, only iTunes has matched the offer.

Until the rest of the stores catch price-matching fever, you will still find the book listed at $0.99 on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, Kobo, and Sony.

So, if you'd like to, you can still pay $0.99 for the book, or you can get it for FREE here on Smashwords or here on iTunes.

Five Books and 15 Movies

When I was younger, I thought about growing up to be famous. I imagined that the Bubby series would go on to sell countless copies and that multiple movies would be made. Since the stories are so short, I assumed that the first two episodes would be one movie, episodes three and four would make up the second film, and book five would round out the trilogy (since the most popular movie series always seem to need to be in multiples of three).

However, recently The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey was released. As you may or may not know, the book, The Hobbit, was intended to be divided into two films, but they later decided there was enough material for three films.

Naturally, that got me to thinking. If a short book like The Hobbit can be divided into three films, then why not each of the Bubby books?

So, without further ado, I urge all of you to create a massive viral social media campaign with the hashtag #5books15movies.

Do I think it will work? No, not really... but that's why I'm relying on all of you to spread the word, so I don't have to have my heart broken when my unrealistic dreams are dashed.

So remember, with all the tweeting you do today, push the idea of #5books15movies.

Thanks!

Give the Gift of Bubby

Look, we all know that Bubby is the gift that keeps on giving. If you were to ask him, Bubby would tell you that he has more than enough love to go around.

Alas, this Christmas season you probably have a limited budget. With that in mind, I am proposing a compromise: If you promise to buy The Complete Bubby Anthology on Smashwords, I will give you a coupon code to enter to save you 50% today through Christmas. In other words, you'll end up getting $3.99 worth of a book for only $1.99.

Agreed?

Okay, the code is "LL77E" (without quotes).

So what do you get for 50% off? You get access to multiple file types of The Complete Bubby Anthology, meaning you can read it on a Kindle, a Nook, an iPad, a Nexus 7, your personal computer, or pretty much any other type of eReader.

And you can even click the "Give as a gift" option on Smashwords so that your friends will be able to get their own copies of the book and then unanimously call you "the worst gift-giver ever."

So follow this link to Smashwords, and use coupon code "LL77E" (without quotes) to buy The Complete Bubby Anthology today!

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For those of you wanting a paperback copy of the book, you can still get it for the unbelievably low price of only $10.99 on Amazon.com.

Women and Men

I recently saw the following clip from The Colbert Report that reminded me of my mentality when I was a high schooler writing the tales of Bubby:

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The Plight of Platonic Relationships
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After watching this video, it made me rethink how into James Blunt the girl was that he was singing about.

Also, Mr. Colbert reminded me that Bubby has the sort of mentality that believes that women think as highly of him as he does of them. In high school I was convinced that girls would be thinking about me the way I thought about them (even though I could never seem to find any that did). Thus, in early stories, Bubby has no difficulty getting the girls. It isn't until around episode five that Roseli challenges him a bit on it (which shows that I must have been maturing somewhat by then).

So Your Candidate Won/Lost...

Depending on your feelings about the outcome of last night's election, I have prepared one of three personalized messages for you.*

Democrats:

Congratulations, President Obama has won re-election. I'm sure you're overjoyed to know that your health care coverage will be taken care of for the remainder of your days. Hey, since we're sliding towards a Communist society any way, and you won't be needing to work anymore, why don't you buy a copy of The Complete Bubby Anthology to read while you're sitting around your house eating bon-bons and collecting welfare checks?

Republicans:

It must have been very sad when you first heard the news that Governor Romney was unable to carry the necessary swing states to win the election. Fortunately, you're all rich, so you can afford to wipe away your tears with the $100 bills you use as tissue paper. Hey, since you're throwing away money anyway, why don't you buy a copy of The Complete Bubby Anthology? You don't even have to read it, you can just document it as some sort of charitable deduction on your 2012 tax forms.**

Undecided Voters:

You must be taking a lot of flak for having still not made up your minds about which candidate to vote for. Sorry, that must be difficult to deal with. Hey, while you're having difficulty making decisions, why don't you buy a copy of The Complete Bubby Anthology - it isn't as if you can make up your mind not to.

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*Yes, I am joking when I stereotype the three groups. No, these stereotypes are not really how I feel about each of these groups. And, no, I don't know why I find that perpetuating stereotypes is funny. In fact, it's not. Never mind.

**A purchase of The Complete Bubby Anthology is not actually tax deductible.

A Nobel Prize? For Me?

Yesterday the recipient of the Nobel Prize in Literature was revealed. To be honest, I did not even know there was a Nobel Prize in Literature. So imagine my surprise when I learned that Mo Yan had won the award for 2012.

What surprised me most was not that Mo Yan is a Chinese citizen... I think that's great. What surprised me was that the Swedish Academy described his work as having "hallucinatory realism."

When I heard those words, it was as if the Swedish Academy was describing my own book, The Complete Bubby Anthology. Seriously, how could anything in The Complete Bubby Anthology be described as real without the aid of some sort of hallucinogen?

So, for anyone reading this blog who might be considered a "Qualified Nominator" by the Swedish Academy, I submit for your consideration a book with true "hallucinatory realism," The Complete Bubby Anthology.

In the meantime, I will await the Swedish Academy's phone call in October next year to inform me that I have won the 2013 Nobel Prize in Literature.