Women and Men

I recently saw the following clip from The Colbert Report that reminded me of my mentality when I was a high schooler writing the tales of Bubby:

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After watching this video, it made me rethink how into James Blunt the girl was that he was singing about.

Also, Mr. Colbert reminded me that Bubby has the sort of mentality that believes that women think as highly of him as he does of them. In high school I was convinced that girls would be thinking about me the way I thought about them (even though I could never seem to find any that did). Thus, in early stories, Bubby has no difficulty getting the girls. It isn't until around episode five that Roseli challenges him a bit on it (which shows that I must have been maturing somewhat by then).

So Your Candidate Won/Lost...

Depending on your feelings about the outcome of last night's election, I have prepared one of three personalized messages for you.*

Democrats:

Congratulations, President Obama has won re-election. I'm sure you're overjoyed to know that your health care coverage will be taken care of for the remainder of your days. Hey, since we're sliding towards a Communist society any way, and you won't be needing to work anymore, why don't you buy a copy of The Complete Bubby Anthology to read while you're sitting around your house eating bon-bons and collecting welfare checks?

Republicans:

It must have been very sad when you first heard the news that Governor Romney was unable to carry the necessary swing states to win the election. Fortunately, you're all rich, so you can afford to wipe away your tears with the $100 bills you use as tissue paper. Hey, since you're throwing away money anyway, why don't you buy a copy of The Complete Bubby Anthology? You don't even have to read it, you can just document it as some sort of charitable deduction on your 2012 tax forms.**

Undecided Voters:

You must be taking a lot of flak for having still not made up your minds about which candidate to vote for. Sorry, that must be difficult to deal with. Hey, while you're having difficulty making decisions, why don't you buy a copy of The Complete Bubby Anthology - it isn't as if you can make up your mind not to.

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*Yes, I am joking when I stereotype the three groups. No, these stereotypes are not really how I feel about each of these groups. And, no, I don't know why I find that perpetuating stereotypes is funny. In fact, it's not. Never mind.

**A purchase of The Complete Bubby Anthology is not actually tax deductible.

A Nobel Prize? For Me?

Yesterday the recipient of the Nobel Prize in Literature was revealed. To be honest, I did not even know there was a Nobel Prize in Literature. So imagine my surprise when I learned that Mo Yan had won the award for 2012.

What surprised me most was not that Mo Yan is a Chinese citizen... I think that's great. What surprised me was that the Swedish Academy described his work as having "hallucinatory realism."

When I heard those words, it was as if the Swedish Academy was describing my own book, The Complete Bubby Anthology. Seriously, how could anything in The Complete Bubby Anthology be described as real without the aid of some sort of hallucinogen?

So, for anyone reading this blog who might be considered a "Qualified Nominator" by the Swedish Academy, I submit for your consideration a book with true "hallucinatory realism," The Complete Bubby Anthology.

In the meantime, I will await the Swedish Academy's phone call in October next year to inform me that I have won the 2013 Nobel Prize in Literature.

Ask A Stupid Question Day

According to the folks that are in-the-know, today is Ask A Stupid Question Day.

Now, you may be thinking, "But, Mr. Draper, there is no such thing as a stupid question."

To which I would reply, "Actually, there is... have you ever sat in a classroom of children or teens? There are tons of stupid questions."

Then you might say, "Well, can you give me an example of a stupid question?"

And I, ignoring that your question (by itself) was stupid, would answer that anyone asking whether The Complete Bubby Anthology was truly a good deal at only $3.99, would be asking a stupid question.

At which point you would say, "You're right, Mr. Draper. You're always right."

So go ahead and buy a copy today. Because nothing honors stupidity as well as The Complete Bubby Anthology does!

One Thing We Can All Agree On

Now that the Republican and Democratic National Conventions are over, it has become increasingly clear that there is only one thing all Americans can agree on: The Complete Bubby Anthology is a stupid book... but ridiculously funny too!

So vote in favor of the American dream by choosing to download a copy today!

Clever, Clever

Sometimes I wish I had a criminal mind. Then I would find clever ways of selling books for more than double what I originally paid for them.

For example, I give you the case of a user named "Stork Media" on the Barnes & Noble store. He or she has a paperback copy of The Complete Bubby Anthology and are selling it for $24.07.

To be honest, I wish him or her luck, even though I won't be seeing a penny of the profit. However, if the copy does eventually sell, I might try their technique for myself!

In the meantime, if you want to buy a eBook copy of The Complete Bubby Anthology you can do so by clicking any of the links on Books tab at the top of this page. The book is now available at Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Kobo, and Smashwords, with many more stores still to come.

The Big-ish Reveal

The Complete Bubby Anthology is now available for purchase at Smashwords, along will all five individual tales.

So for those of you that own a Nook, and couldn't read the Kindle versions, you are now in luck! To get your ePub version, click here.

Now, you may be wondering, "Hey, I've never heard of Smashwords. Is it safe to purchase from their site?"

The answer, of course, is "Yes. They have you pay through your PayPal account, so your transaction is completely secure."

To which you say, "Thank you for enlightening me."

To which I would reply, "Think nothing of it. It was my pleasure. I'm glad we had this talk."

If you're still unsure, you can wait until the book is distributed, by Smashwords, to major book stores, like Barnes & Noble and Apple's iBookstore (probably within 1-2 weeks).

In the meantime, I would like to thank the site, Bailey's EZ Reader Picks for promoting The Complete Bubby Anthology on day one of its availability at Smashwords. Usually I'm stuck at the bottom or middle of a mass of books on promotional sites. However, on Bailey's list, I'm #1. So, thank you!